


If We Shadows

by transfixeddream



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-05-17
Updated: 2011-05-17
Packaged: 2017-10-19 12:17:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,304
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/200769
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/transfixeddream/pseuds/transfixeddream
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>For Jensen, life isn't difficult - his biggest concern is not flunking Trigonometry and getting into a decent college. And then Jared has to go and complicate things.</p><p>Also posted <a href="http://transfixeddream.livejournal.com/91721.html">here</a>.</p>
            </blockquote>





	If We Shadows

**Author's Note:**

> Written for raeschae at j2_afterclass with her prompt of campus production of Shakespeare in mind.

By the time Jensen manages to get out of math class, the bell signaling lunch had rung five minutes ago. He heads quickly to his locker and, after stuffing his books carelessly inside, he grabs his bagged lunch, shuts the door, and all but runs out the main doors. There's more people eating lunch outside than inside--probably because it's the first sunny day in nearly a week--and it's an effort to weed through them all and get away from the main crowds.

He can see Danneel and Aldis already, sitting high enough on the bleachers that the back of their heads are clearly visible; Jensen doesn't even have to guess what they're doing. Jared's head is nowhere to be seen but it's easy to figure out where he's at.

Jensen quickens his pace.

They don't see him approach from behind so he ducks under the bleachers. Jared's there, sure enough, sitting with his knees up as he listens to his iPod, hair hanging in his face. Jensen kicks at his boot until he looks up, teeth digging into his bottom lip like he's about to tell Jensen off, but stops when he sees who it is. His mouth shifts into a smile.

Jensen drops his bag next to Jared in the grass, then grins and puts a finger to his lips, a silent request for Jared to keep quiet. Jared snorts--albeit softly--and goes back to his iPod. Jensen sneaks forward until he can reach out and grab at the legs between the seats.

The effect is instantaneous: Danneel and Aldis both let out short screams that Jensen's going to mock Aldis for later, and Jensen ducks back to avoid a kick in the head. They look between the seats and glare at him, Danneel letting out a muttered, "Jackass," while Aldis growls, "Motherfucker." Jensen shoots them a shit-eating grin, and once they roll their eyes and go back to ignoring him, mouths fused together again, he plops down next to Jared, who's given up on his iPod and is now rifling through Jensen's lunch. He pulls out half of a sandwich and passes the paper bag to Jensen.

"Dude, that's my sandwich," Jensen protests, like it's the first time that Jared's stolen food from him. He's pretty sure that Jared's parents must save a fortune not having to give their son lunch money. Meanwhile, Jensen's parents might be looking at taking out a second mortgage just to feed the Sasquatch.

Jared shrugs and bites off a chunk. " 's my sandwich now," he says around a mouthful of bread. He chews thoughtfully for a moment, then adds, "Bitch." He finishes chewing and swallows his food, then moans happily. "Man, your mom makes awesome sandwiches."

"I wouldn't know," Jensen says, attempting to sound hostile all the while resisting the urge to smile. He takes an apple from the bag.

Jared just grins at him cockily as he takes another mouthful of sandwich. "Mm, so, why were you late?"

Jensen hums around his apple before biting into it. "Kripke wanted to talk to me after class. Apparently, I still suck at Trig."

Jared raises his eyebrows. "Wow, Jen, don't make a big deal out of it. Not like you're gonna need to know that shit for the test or anything. Which is when, by the way?"

"Tuesday, and shut up," Jensen says, then shrugs. "The way I see it, exam's gotta have more than that, you know? I ace the rest, who the hell cares if I can figure out some sides of triangles?"

"That's some real logical thinking right there."

If he didn't know that Jared's going to insist on tutoring him until he can do angles in his sleep, Jensen might be worried. As it is, he just grins, all teeth, and rubs Jared's knee. "Ain't nothin' but logical, baby."

Snorting, Jared shakes his head, bangs rocking with the force. "Whatever you say, _baby_ ," he says, swiping Jensen's hand off of his knee.

Jensen's grin widens.

*

Second period English Literature with Gamble is a slow crawling train wreck, and most of the time Jensen is torn between clawing his eyes out and banging his head against his desk.

It's just, even _she_ doesn't seem particularly interested in reading _The Scarlet Letter_. Instead, she drones out assignments of chapters to be read during class or at home, and then passes out worksheets and crap that could possibly be more exciting than the book. Jared had her last semester for creative writing and said she really got into it, that she was probably the most enthusiastic teacher he's ever had, but Jensen's having a hard time believing it now as she writes themes up on the board at a dying pace.

Jared's not fairing much better than he is, Jensen figures; his chair is tipped back so he's leaning against Jensen's desk, and his copy of the book has been open to the same two pages for the past ten minutes. Jensen purses his lips, considering action for a moment, then slides the capped end of his pen along the back of Jared's head. Jared hums in surprise, jerking slightly before settling back and humming again, something pleasurable this time. Jensen grins and keeps scratching at his skull with the pen.

"Man," Aldis hisses at Jensen, across from Jared. "Why the hell can't you sit behind me and do that?"

"Shut up, Hodge," Jared mutters, and Jensen snorts. "I ain't sharing."

"Asshole," Aldis says back instantly, but then he's jerking his body back around front, because Gamble turns from the chalk board and coughs pointedly.

Jensen manages to suppress a laugh and stops moving his pen. Jared makes a pained noise, like Jensen just kicked him instead of just stopping the scratching. A smile tugs involuntarily at his lips and Jensen figures what the hell, and starts running the cap through Jared's hair again.

*

Jensen's leaning against the back of the bleachers, watching the sun through the gaps between the rows of seats. It's too hot today, especially for early spring; his t-shirt sticks to his back unpleasantly. It's not entirely awful in the shade at least.

"Oh! So, hey," Jared starts, setting down the last of his-- _Jensen's_ \--sandwich on his thigh. Then he's digging into his backpack, searching for something that he's having a hard time finding, judging by the frown on his face. Jensen's not exactly surprised or anything; he used to think he was disastrously disorganized until he met Jared back in seventh grade. Finally, Jared grunts in triumph and pulls out a flyer and holds it out to Jensen. "Genevieve printed them off earlier. She's supposed to put them up during lunch. What d'you think?"

It's obvious what it is, so Jensen takes it with a smirk, and it only grows as he looks it over; _A Midsummer Night's Dream_ is printed in bold letters, above a drawing that was probably done by Genevieve. "Nice."

Jared pauses, frowning, and then says, warily, "Nice? That's it? No, 'Man, how gay are you to be doing _Shakespeare_ '?"

"I figured I mocked you enough when you first told me," Jensen says, shrugging.

It's true enough; he _did_ take great pleasure in mocking Jared after he told him he was considering auditioning for the role of Puck. Even if he was proud of Jared for getting the part, it's not like he could pass up on all fairy jokes.

"Oh," Jared says, practically disappointed, and Jensen smirks.

"But, you know. _So_ gay."

Jared scowls, but it's more for show than anything, and snags the paper back from Jensen, trying not to appear totally satisfied. Jensen's not exactly sure why Jared likes it when he mocks him, but he's not gonna complain.

"Shut up," Jared says, shooting Jensen a glare. Then adds, "Pot, meet kettle."

Shrugging a shoulder, Jensen looks up at the wood hanging over them. "I just like dick. You like dick _and_ Shakespeare," he says around his mouthful, then swallows. "Ergo, you're, like, super gay."

"I'm pretty sure that's not how it works."

"Nope, I'm pretty sure that's exactly how it works."

Jared snorts and pushes the flyer into his bag again. "But, you're gonna come, yeah?"

"Absolutely," Jensen says. "I want to be there if you choke." The light blow to his shoulder doesn't surprise him at all.

"You know, I'm not really digging all the verbal abuse in this relationship," Jared says, downing the last chunk of sandwich.

"I'm not fond of the _physical_ abuse, either," Jensen grumbles back. Rubbing at his shoulder halfheartedly, he tries to fight back the tug of his lips, attempts a scowl instead but it just doesn't work and he knows he looks ridiculous.

Jared sticks his tongue out at him, and Jensen flips him the bird before grabbing his bagged lunch and rifling through it. He takes out the cookies his mom always packs: one chocolate chip and one peanut butter, even though Jensen only likes the chocolate chip. He's pretty sure the fact that his mother likes Jared more than him is to blame for the peanut butter one, especially noting the way Jared grins every time Jensen passes it over to him.

"So. You'll be there opening night, right?" Jared asks again, like he wants Jensen to so badly. Like Jensen would even consider not showing up.

Jensen shoves half of his cookie into his mouth to hide the smile threatening to appear. "Yeah, Jay. Course I'll be there."

*

"Okay, so, X is equal to, uh, seven point... four?"

Jared's hand smacks the desk, and Jensen most certainly does _not_ jump. "Man, _exactly_! Exactly right," he says, face lighting up.

Jensen finds himself grinning back at Jared; he kind of wants to hit the desk, too. "Obviously it's right. I mean, I'm pretty awesome." Jared gives him a look, and Jensen laughs, shakes his head. "Yeah, yeah, and I had an awesome tutor. Thanks, man."

"Anytime," Jared says. "Now, I believe we had an agreement."

Sighing like it's a hardship, Jensen opens the drawer of his desk and tosses Jared the bag of Tootsie pops. He tears it open, grin on his face as he digs out a red one.

"You're so easy," Jensen says as Jared unwraps the sucker and pops it into his mouth. Jared hums around it in agreement, and then flips him off.

"Alright, now do this one." Jared pulls the Tootsie pop out of his mouth and points at the page with it. He grins, lips stained a cherry red that Jensen focuses on for only a second before rolling his eyes.

"Dude, come on, I know this now."

Jared looks at him with a serious face, which is kind of ruined with the stick poking out from his mouth, but whatever. "Yeah, you do. Now prove it by _doing this one_."

"Not exactly how I expected to spend my Saturday night," Jensen mutters, but picks up his pencil again.

Jared called him up two hours ago, offering up a night of _Halo_ , then showed up with the sole intention of making sure Jensen passed his Trig test. It's annoying that he can't even complain about it; last year, when Jared was flunking chemistry, Jensen pulled a similar stunt.

"Sorry if I care that you graduate," says Jared, that guilt-tripping voice that he picked up from his mother in full force.

Jensen huffs. "Wow, you'd be an awesome teacher, Jared," he says, and then catches himself, immediately regretting it when Jared's face falls a little. "Shit, man. Sorry."

Jared smiles and shrugs. "Don't worry about it."

Can of worms opened, Jensen can't help but ask, "You decide when you're gonna tell 'em yet?"

Jared shakes his head. "Nah, not yet."

"You gotta tell 'em soon, Jay."

"Yeah," is all Jared says.

Jensen nods and looks down at his paper. He sighs, then says, "Alright, let's do this."

It's another half hour of problems, until Jared's convinced that Jensen will without a doubt ace the test on Tuesday. Jared chomps through another six suckers, lips and tongue more brown than anything by the end of it. Finally, he lets Jensen put on _Halo_ and they settle in on the bean bag chairs in front of the TV. Jared's off his game for most of the time, and Jensen's just about to make another kill when he pauses the game.

"Dude!" Jensen exclaims, head jerking to look at Jared.

"Tomorrow," he says, and Jensen frowns.

"What?"

Jared takes a deep breath and blows it out, fingers reaching up and running through his hair. "I'm gonna tell them tomorrow."

"Shit," Jensen says, immediately getting back on track. He sets down his controller. "You sure you wanna do it this quickly? I mean, it's kinda... sudden."

Really, it's not sudden at all. It isn't like this is a recent decision Jared's made--they weren't even done being juniors yet when he decided on what he was gonna do after senior year. But, up until now, Jared has barely entertained the idea of telling them.

Shrugging, Jared tries a smile. "You're right, there's no point in putting it off any longer. Like pulling off a Band-Aid, right?"

"It's up to you," is the genius response Jensen comes up with.

Jared nods, says, "Yeah," real soft before he smirks, then he's picking up his controller and ending the pause. Jensen shouts as he grabs his own controller again, narrowly avoiding a brutal demise.

*

Jensen's phone vibrates a little after six, while his mother's passing Mack the green beans. He fishes it out of his pocket and reads the text, a simple four-word question: _can u come out?_

"Jared?"

Jensen looks up at his mom's sympathetic face and nods. He's glad he told her earlier about it, how this might happen; his dad and Mack both look confused, and Jensen doesn't really want to have to explain right now.

"Can I--"

"I'll put your plate in the microwave," is all his mom says, and Jensen's sure he couldn't possibly love her more than he does right at this moment. He gives his mom a grateful peck on the cheek, grabs two Cokes from the fridge, and heads out the front door.

Jared's sitting on the porch swing, legs rocking it back and forth. He looks up when Jensen lets the door bang behind him, hair falling over his eyes that he pushes back quickly, and the swing stops moving. His cheeks are red, his face is flushed, and Jensen wonders if he ran all the way here.

Jensen holds out one of the bottles and Jared takes it wordlessly, then slides over to make room for him. The swing creaks with the extra weight, and Jensen settles himself on the aged wood gingerly. Sometime soon, the whole thing is gonna fall apart.

Shooting a glance at Jared, taking in the way he's looking down the opening of the bottle, hair hanging in his face--Jensen hopes now is not that time.

Things are quiet for a long moment, just the faint, irritable squeak of the swing as it sways with each small movement, and Jensen thinks he's gonna have to be the one to say something first.

"They're pissed," Jared says, barely audible; Jensen can count on one hand how many times he's heard Jared's voice sound like that. He huffs humorlessly, shaking his head and rattling the entire swing in the process. "Tell 'em I'm gay, nobody bats an eye. Say I'm not going to college and it's fuckin' World War III."

It's Jensen's turn to look into his Coke, swirling the liquid around and feeling the condensation wet his fingers, warping the edges on the label. He wants to say something that'll make it better, something that'll make Jared smile or whatever at least. "I'm sorry, Jay," he says finally, and it doesn't seem like enough.

Jared turns his head and smiles, but not the kind of smile that Jensen was digging for, and then he looks away again. " 'S'not your fault."

Jensen's not exactly sure that's true, and they lapse into silence again, uncomfortable like they've never been. It's a warm evening, cooled greatly compared to the afternoon, and the sun is starting to lower itself in the sky, painting everything in orange hues. Jensen picks at the label on his bottle, half a thought coming to him before he decides it's too stupid to say and moves on to the next. Rationally, he knew this was coming, but he still feels a tinge of blame for pushing Jared into it.

Jared sighs, and Jensen finds himself looking at him instantly. "They say I'm throwing my future away. Like, the only way I could possibly be successful is if I end up teaching kids about grammar and shit." He shrugs, bringing his bottle to his lips and downing a huge gulp. He pulls off and runs the back of his hand over his mouth. "They'll probably be better tomorrow, but. It's--whatever, y'know? It's my life, not theirs. They shouldn't worry so much about it."

"They're your parents, of course they're gonna worry."

A beat, and then Jared nods. "Yeah, I guess."

Jensen presses his lips together. "You planning on going back tonight?" he asks, and Jared's hesitation gives him his answer. "You can stay here. I mean, if you want. Mom'll be stoked."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

Jared nods again, one swift, jerky pull of his head. "Cool," he says. His lips curl up at the sides and it does wonders to ease Jensen's mind, and then Jared's adding, "Thanks."

*

"Jared staying here tonight?" his mom asks as soon as Jensen closes the door. She's loading plates into the dishwasher, and Jensen can see his dad in the living room, sports on TV although he's stopped watching in order to look at Jensen.

"Yeah, if that's okay," Jensen says, thankful for once for his mom's sixth sense.

She nods. "He's gonna have to call his parents, though. You want me to do up Josh's bed for him?"

Jensen was wrong about it being impossible to love her more, because right now he's pretty sure his mom's the most awesome person in the world.

"Nah, I can handle him."

His mom laughs as she wipes her hands on a dishcloth. "Guess I'd better take out some bacon if we're having company for breakfast."

Jensen grins, face almost splitting at that, and he just says, "Yeah, you'd better," before going back outside.

*

Jensen groans, reaching blindly to shut off his alarm as it rings into his ears. He presses the button, hopes it's the right one, and flops his arm back over the lump of muscle. There's a snicker, and Jensen slowly opens one eye to find Jared grinning at him.

"You're a bundle of joy in the morning, huh?"

"Have you been watchin' me sleep?" Jensen says, ignoring Jared's remark in favor of pressing his eyes shut. "Damn creeper."

Jared snorts. "Didn't wanna wake you up," he says, and only then does Jensen realize he's lying on Jared's arm.

"Crap, sorry."

Jensen moves over until Jared can pull his arm out from under him, then rolls back and buries his head in the pillow. This is why he's not good at sleeping in the same bed as Jared; they're both squirmers and he ends up half on Jared, or vice versa, by the morning.

When a minute passes and the bed hasn't so much as dipped, Jensen raises his head, grunting at the absolute effort it takes to do it. Jared's still looking at him, amused sort of expression on his face that Jensen wants to knock off with his pillow.

"Okay, _now_ you're watchin' me sleep."

"We have school in like, an hour," Jared says, smiling as he punches Jensen's thigh under the covers. "C'mon, get up."

Jensen yawns, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. "Is that your hand, or are you just happy to see me?"

Jared rolls his eyes and gets up from the bed, pulling the blankets with him as he goes and leaving Jensen with just his shirt and underwear. Jensen swears under his breath and sits up, fighting back another yawn as he blinks blearily at the alarm clock. Jesus, since when does he get up before eight?

Jensen stares at Jared, dully watching the expanse of bare chest as he stretches around a yawn.

"Could I get some clothes from you?" Jared asks, scratching idly at his stomach. He's only wearing boxers, and that's when Jensen snaps out of gaze and remembers that this isn't just some weird sleepover or something.

"Yeah," he says, getting up groggily from the bed. "Should have something that'll fit you, Stretch."

He half-stumbles to his dresser and pulls open a drawer, rifling through the contents slower than normal before finding one of his worn Zeppelin t-shirts. He tosses it Jared's way, aiming for his head but Jared ends up catching it with his hand anyway.

"Whatever pants you want, dude. Gonna look like you're wearing shorts anyway."

Jared laughs, short and sweet and so damn _annoying_ this early in the morning, before saying, "Yeah. It's tough not being a midget."

Jensen flips him off as he heads into the bathroom.

He's brushing his teeth when Jared comes in, the tee stretched tight over his chest and still in his underwear. Jensen glances at him, keeps looking, then feels his ears sting when Jared frowns in confusion after a couple of beats. He feels more human after splashing water in his face, at least enough to smile at Jared around his toothbrush.

Jared steps up alongside Jensen, running his index finger under the water. "Hey, can you pass me the toothpaste?" he asks, tapping the side of the sink.

Jensen spits into the sink, then passes the tube to Jared. "I can get you a toothbrush, man."

"It's cool," Jared says, even though he knows Jensen's dad is a dentist and always has a dozen unopened ones under the sink. He grabs the toothpaste and makes a show of squeezing a short line of it on the edge of his finger. It's like something out of a Colgate commercial, the way Jared grins wide and starts rubbing the red paste into his teeth, creating pink foam that seeps over the edges of his lips.

Snorting, Jensen shakes his head and resumes brushing. As he does so, he tries to figure out which of them has the worst case of bed head: Jared with his hair rumpled in places and matted in others, or Jensen with half his head in spikes and looking like a reject from N*Sync. Jared must catch on, because then he's looking between them in the mirror, too, snickering around his finger.

They finish up, spit into the sink, and Jensen gets out so Jared can piss and wash up. In the meantime he rids himself of his shirt and replaces it with a clean one. He's tugging on a fresh pair of jeans when he hears Jared's humming, loud and horrendously off-key. It makes him smile, despite knowing that Jared's doing it just to annoy him. Jensen goes about his business and finds the pair of jeans that're a little long on him and sets them out for Jared before heading back to his dresser to fix his hair.

"Hey, pants are on the bed," Jensen says once he sees Jared come out from his view in the mirror, even though it's probably obvious.

"Great, thanks." There's the muffled sound of denim dropping to the floor, and then Jared's saying, "Hey, thanks for this. I really appreciate it."

Fingers running through his bangs, Jensen hums. "Any time, don't mention it. You'd have done the same as me."

Jared steps up behind him, and Jensen drops his hands from his hair and straightens up at the sight of Jared's somber expression. It's kind of weird, he thinks, keeping eye contact through a mirror, especially with how Jared's looking at him right now. Jared places his hand on Jensen's shoulder and squeezes, and Jensen feels a familiar warmth fill him.

"No, seriously, man. Just, thank you. For all of this."

Jensen swallows and nods mutely. "Yeah. No problem, Jay."

That earns him a smile, and then Jared's snorting, easing the tension. "Dude, you're such a girl," he says, eyes crinkling as he looks at Jensen's hair.

Jensen scowls through the mirror as he spikes his bangs. "Hey, fuck you. At least my hair's manageable."

Jared laughs. "I don't know what you're talking about, man," he says, shaking his head and throwing around his hair as if to demonstrate.

"Jerk," Jensen mutters, fighting a twitch in his lips.

"No, but seriously. You look good," Jared says, his mouth set in a soft line as he gives Jensen's shoulder another squeeze. And just like that the mood's shifted into something else entirely, and Jensen's not entirely sure if he should like it. He smiles back into the mirror anyway, and Jared smiles back.

"Dude, is your mom cooking bacon?" Jared asks a second later, breaking the moment as he sniffs the air. His hand falls from Jensen's shoulder. "I'm pretty sure I can smell bacon."

Eyes lighting up, Jared takes off out of the room, following the smell of grease downstairs.

Jensen focuses on finishing his hair, and not on the way his stomach reels a little at the loss of contact.

*

"Whoa, are we sharing clothes now?" is the first thing out of Aldis's mouth when they make it to second period.

"Shut up, Hodge," is the first thing out of Jared's as he takes his seat beside Aldis.

"No, seriously," Aldis continues, laughing, and normally Jensen's a pretty big fan of him. Now, though, he just wants to punch Aldis in his face, his hand curling into a fist instinctively on top of his desk. Which is stupid; Jared's more than capable of telling Aldis off--and he has, on more than one occasion even. "I think it's a little overly gay, even for you guys."

"Dude, shut up. I just, I stayed at Jensen's last night."

Aldis leers and says, "Wait, you stayed at Jensen's? What exactly did you and Jensen _do_ \--"

"Aldis, seriously. Shut the fuck up," Jensen snaps, and both Aldis and Jared turn around to look at him, eyes a little wide.

"Alright, sorry."

Jared sighs, shaking his head. "No, man, it's cool. I just told my parents about the college thing, so."

The second Aldis registers what Jared's saying, his mouth drops a notch. "Wait, you finally told them? How'd they take it?"

"I stayed at Jensen's last night," Jared says with a short laugh. "Yeah, they're not exactly thrilled."

"Crap, that sucks," Aldis says. "Did they--they didn't kick you out, right?"

"Nah," Jared says, shaking his head. "Just, didn't feel like going home last night."

"Oh. Well, I. I'm sorry, man."

Jared nods, flashes him a short smile that doesn't reach his eyes, then turns back around and opens his book.

*

Jared goes back to his own place after school, declining Jensen's offer of burgers at a local place beforehand. Jensen parks his car on the side of the road, glances at Jared's house, and then asks again.

"Naw, man," Jared says, smiling as he tugs on the strap of his backpack. "I should probably go and face the music."

Jensen tries to smile back. Says, "Okay, sure. Yeah. Just, call me later?"

Jared nods, presses his knuckles to Jensen's temple and rubs, rough and quick, and he laughs when Jensen jerks his head away. "Yeah, okay," he says, and then he's climbing out of the seat and waving, before heading up the driveway.

Blowing out a breath, Jensen watches Jared walk halfway before he starts the car again and heads home himself.

*

"They want me to talk to Collins," is the first thing Jared says after Jensen answers with, "Hello?"

Flopping back on his bed, Jensen frowns, setting his head on his arm. "Misha?" he asks, even though he already knows who Jared means.

"Misha's mom. The guidance counselor?"

"Oh, yeah. That makes more sense."

Jared snorts. "Yeah."

"Are you gonna?"

It's easy for Jensen to picture Jared right now. He's probably on his bed, back to the headboard, knees up while he looks at the television, brow furrowed. No doubt about it, he's shrugging when he says, "I guess. They're not as pissed now, so they're not like forcing me to do it or anything, but. Why not, right? It might get them off my case."

"Yeah. It might."

Jared clears his throat then. "So, Trig test tomorrow," he says, and Jensen can so easily visualize the way Jared rids his face of everything but a smile when he's stressed and trying to change the subject.

Jensen finds himself smiling at that, even as he groans into the phone. "God, don't remind me," he says, taking the bait.

"You're gonna do awesome, Jen. Trust me, you're not as dumb as you look."

"Oh, fuck you," Jensen says, but it's hard to sound offended when he's fighting back a laugh.

Jared laughs, loud and strong, and it's the best sound Jensen's heard in forever. "But really," Jared's says. "You're gonna kill it, you know that, right?"

Jensen feels pride bloom in his chest with the compliment, and it's stupid, because it's Trigonometry--not exactly something to get all proud about--but he grins anyway.

*

The stage of the theater is pretty crowded, small groups of people standing and sitting, easy to distinguish who's in the play and who's not by the fact they're all in their costumes. Others are moving large painted pieces of the sets to wherever Jeff Morgan, the drama teacher, points.

Jensen can't see Jared anywhere, which is kind of amazing considering the guy is about a head taller than everybody else in here. The only person he recognizes is Genevieve, sitting in one of the seats with her knees resting on the chair in front of her, looking over a script. Shrugging to himself, Jensen walks over.

"Hey, Genevieve, where's Jared? He's here, right?" he asks, frowning. Jared hasn't mentioned anything, but Jensen hopes his parents didn't make him quit the play or something.

Genevieve looks up from her lines. "Huh? Oh, yeah. He's getting into his costume backstage."

It's embarrassing, really, how relief flows through Jensen at those words. "Okay, cool, thanks."

He moves around the people and the set, flashing Jeff a grin when he notices him, shaking his head as if he knew Jensen would be here. But really, it's not like he's going to miss dress rehearsal.

Jared's standing behind the curtain, and a girl Jensen recognizes from his biology class but can't recall by name, is sitting on a chair in front of him.

"Hey!" Jared greets, grinning bright and Jensen grins back in response. "How'd the test go?"

"Pretty good, I think," Jensen says. He steps a little closer and it's only then he realizes that Jared's not wearing a shirt.

What's more, the chick is currently in the middle of coating his upper body in metallic paint; greens and blues that weave together to look like twisted branches against the sky, fading out above his waist. Jensen's mouth feels dry as he rakes his eyes over Jared's chest and then lower, settling on the dark blue material draped loose around his hips.

"Jesus, what kind of production is this?" Jensen jokes so he has a reason to be staring at Jared's body. "Please tell me you're wearing underwear."

The girl laughs and Jared snickers, shaking his head. "I tried to, man, but Katie insisted I didn't."

"He's lying," the girl-- _Katie_ \--informs him with a smirk. "He's got his pants on, too. You just can't see them with all that fabric."

Jared grins. "Aw, c'mon, Katie. We had an agreement to freak him out." He looks back up at Jensen and then turns his whole body once Katie finishes dabbing soft blue near his belly button. "So, what do you think? Is Katie not awesome with a brush?"

Scratching at the back of his neck, Jensen nods. "Uh, yeah, she's something, alright," he says, letting himself check Jared's chest out for a quick second before focusing on his face. "You look good. Y'know, for a fairy."

Jared's grin widens, and he runs a hand through his hair. "She's still gotta put some leaves and shit in my hair and stuff," he says, "but it's seriously awesome."

"I, uh. Yeah, it is. Nice work, Katie."

Katie smiles. "Thanks."

"Jared, Katie!" Jeff calls. "You almost done?"

"Yeah, Katie's just slow," Jared says back, smirking when Katie whacks him on the back of the head. He looks at Jensen. "You should go get a good seat."

Jensen nods and looks anywhere that isn't Jared's chest, waves at them both and then heads back out from behind the curtains.

There's people in the theater seats now, spread out in small groups with Jeff in the middle of the second row. Considering the only person he even knows by name is Genevieve, Jensen heads to where she's sitting--the same seat she was in before.

Genevieve looks up when he slides into the seat next to her, eyebrow raised, but Jensen shrugs and smiles, and focuses on the front of the room. A couple of people are on stage rehearsing lines and dressed in their costumes, with Jeff giving a comment every couple of sentences.

It doesn't take long for Jared and Katie to emerge, and then people are whistling and Jared's smiling, and Jensen realizes just how well Jared fits into this place. He's never thought of theater as a fun thing, but Jared kind of makes it look like it is.

One of the guys who was practicing lines a moment ago walks over, and Jared laughs at something he says, a booming noise that echoes through the place. Jared's grinning down at him with this look of pure affection, and Jensen finds himself tensing in response.

"He's straight," Genevieve says, and Jensen jerks his head to look at her. Her face is planted in her sketchbook and for a second, Jensen thinks maybe he's hearing things.

"What?"

"Tom," she elaborates. "He's been dating this girl since they were like, thirteen. He's not after your boyfriend, don't worry."

His eyes widen. "Oh, no, he's not--" Jensen frowns. "Jared's not my boyfriend."

"Then you want him to be?" she guesses. "'Cause let me tell you, you look like you want to kill somebody."

Jensen should laugh it off, should tell her she's not good at reading people. Instead, he turns his attention back to the stage where Jared and _Tom_ are still talking. Jealousy thrums pure in his veins and he swallows hard.

"We're friends," Jensen says, even though he's not entirely sure if he's trying to convince Genevieve or himself.

"Okay."

Tom moves away from Jared, and then Jared's looking out into the seats and the second he spots Jensen, he grins and waves. Jensen smiles and waves back, and tries to ignore the sudden heat in his stomach.

*

The thing about revelations, Jensen figures, is that unless you go shouting them from the rooftops, nobody actually gives a shit that you just figured something out. Except right now he's pretty sure that anybody with two eyes would be able to figure it out, considering how he can't stop sneaking glances at Jared.

"Jensen?"

"Sorry. Yeah?"

Jared eyes him warily, the edge of his pen caught between his lips--the exact image Jensen was staring at. "I asked you what you put down for number five."

Right, English Lit. "Oh, yeah, uh, let's see..."

He can feel Jared's gaze on him as he reads it out, and he's pretty sure he's three seconds away from turning as red as a tomato. He soldiers through, ends the whole thing with a tight smile and a shrug. "I don't know, I kind of just wrote down bullshit. Pretty sure Gamble isn't gonna care one way or another."

Jared looks like he wants to say something, but he just goes with, "Yeah. Probably not."

It's the second time in a week that they feel completely out of sync, and Jensen's more annoyed this time than the last. This time, the awkwardness is on him. He clears his throat and smiles. "So, how'd the meeting with the counselor go?"

Shrugging, Jared reaches over the table and grabs one of Jensen's fries, dunks it in the small mound of ketchup to the left of the pile before eating it. "Okay, I guess. I'm pretty sure they're going to accept it about as much as they're ever going to. Maybe they'll be a little happier when I buy them a new house, or something."

Jensen nods, grabs a couple fries himself and stuffs them in his mouth. Jared takes a few more fries, and Jensen tries to ignore the frown on his face. It's hard, considering there's a bright red spot of ketchup near the corner of his mouth, and Jesus _Christ_ this whole realization thing sucks.

"Man, are you okay? You've been... weird today."

"Yes," Jensen says immediately. "Why would I not be okay?"

"Well," Jared says, and his hands are back in Jensen's fries as he plucks more. "For starters, I've picked at your fries three times and you didn't complain once."

And, okay, Jared's got a point. Jensen sighs. "I'm just, I don't know. Distracted, I guess."

Jared leans forward in his seat. "Oh. Okay, what about?"

"Uh." Shit, _shit_. "Uh, college?"

Jared raises an eyebrow. "I thought you were pretty happy with your choices. They already send the rejections or something?"

"No. Just, you know. It's getting close. What if I don't get into UCLA and won't be able to see your ugly mug more than at Christmas?"

It's obvious that he's lying; Jensen's pretty sure he told Jared that ten times since he sent the applications and Jared was concerned about being split up. And, Jensen wonders, why didn't he figure this crush thing out earlier since he's choosing schools based on the distance from where Jared will be.

Jared nods, and when he shoves another fry into his mouth, Jensen figures--hopes--Jared's going to leave it alone. "Word of advice," he says finally, after swallowing his food. There's a small smirk on his face, but it's an irritated sort of smirk, one Jensen's seen a handful of times at most. "You ever wanna try acting? Don't. Stick with the physical therapy, 'cause you're a shitty liar."

Jensen nods and goes back to his book. "Noted." When he doesn't elaborate or explain himself, Jared just sighs and gets up from the table. Jensen figures he deserves that.

"So," Danneel says as she slides into the chair Jared just vacated, setting her tray on the table. She's got her _let's talk_ face on, and Jensen is positive he doesn't deserve _this_.

"What?"

She rolls her eyes and picks up her fork. "He's my friend, too, dumbass. What's going on?"

"Nothing's going on."

"Mm," she says, eyeing him speculatively. "This have anything to do with how you've been looking at him like a love-sick puppy for the past fifteen minutes?"

"You, uh." Jensen coughs into his fist. "You saw that?"

"Jensen, please. Chad Michael Murray saw _that_ while his face was in Sophia Bush's shirt." She twirls her fork in her salad. "So, cut the crap and spill."

Jensen wants to play the naive card. He's not exactly comfortable talking about every problem he has--that's more Jared's style--but Danneel looks like she's already figured everything out already. She's looking at him the same way she did when she figured out he was gay in eleventh grade. Someday, Jensen's pretty sure, her ability to read into things is going to come back and bite her in the ass.

"I like Jared," he says, and honestly, he's kind of surprised at how quickly the words come out. How easy they feel on his tongue. Like he's been saying it for years, or something.

"Obviously."

" _Obviously_?"

She rolls her eyes. "What, you think everybody calls you guys boyfriends just 'cause you're gay? Seriously? Newsflash, Jensen: you're kind of perfect for each other."

Jensen's not really sure what to say to that, but Danneel keeps talking, so he doesn't have to say anything anyway.

"So, judging by the scene a couple minutes ago, I'm guessing you didn't tell him."

"How do you know? I could've just told him and he got pissed." Danneel just looks at him, and Jensen sighs. "No, I didn't tell him."

"You should," is Danneel's response.

Jensen shrugs. "Yeah, probably."

Danneel nods, but doesn't say anything else.

*

The play goes over well. The cast is good, considering it's just a club production, and Jensen spends a large part of the night listening to Aldis in his right ear and Danneel in his left, both telling him what he already knows: Jared's pretty damn amazing on stage. Sometimes when Jensen's teasing and mocking him it's easy to forget, but Jared can _act_ , and he pulls off Puck and the insane Shakespeare language easily. It's kind of hard to believe that this is the guy who used to get tongue-tied back in seventh grade around girls.

It's only in the final act, while Jared's giving Puck's epilogue, that Jensen forgets about the play and remembers the elephant in the room. Danneel leans over and whispers, "You think about it?" and Jensen catches on immediately, nodding silently while Jared finishes his lines. Danneel pats his leg and when Jensen glances at her, her eyes are back on Jared but her lips are stretched into a smile for him. A little boost of courage, and he's gonna need a lot.

Jared's parents and sister are talking to him when Jensen, Danneel and Aldis make it back stage, his mother with tears in her eyes, but the four of them are laughing and smiling. Frankly, it's hard to believe that those people putting the grin on Jared's face now were the same ones who made him miserable less than a week ago.

Jensen watches from the distance, fingers sliding along the plastic stem in his hand. The rose was something he picked up weeks ago, intending it to be a stupid gag gift for Jared after opening night, something for them to laugh at. Now, though, watching Jared--Jensen thinks it's just a stupid thing to give him.

Jared catches sight of them soon enough and, after saying a couple more words to his family, he walks over, big grin on his face that makes Jensen's stomach clench. "Hey, you guys made it!"

"As if we'd miss it," Danneel says after a short pause, when she realizes Jensen's not going to say anything. She flashes Jared a smile. "You were really good."

"Fucking _awesome_ , is what he was," Aldis says, slapping Jared on the back, then making a face when his hand comes back covered in blue.

"Guess I've had practice at playing a fairy," Jared says on a laugh, his face softening as he looks at Jensen. He looks... cautious. "So, uh. What'd you think, Jen?"

Jensen clears his throat, forces a smirk and holds out the rose. "You stole the show," he says.

And just like that, reservation flies out the window for Jared and he's laughing, taking the plastic flower from Jensen's hand. "Dude, seriously? This is great. Thanks."

Jensen shrugs, eyes following Jared's fingers as they slide along the folds of the rose. "Figured you'd appreciate it."

Jared nods, smile still on his face. He scratches at his head, gelled hair coming loose where his nails dig in. "So, hey. Tom's throwing this party back at his place, for opening night or whatever. You guys wanna go?"

If Jensen's honest, he doesn't want to go. He has a plan--or had one, anyway--and it does not involve spending time at this Tom guy's house. Still, Jared is looking hopeful and Jensen can't recall ever saying no to that particular look, which digs into his gut harder than ever now, so he nods.

"Yeah, sure. If Danni and Aldis want to."

"Hey, free booze?" Aldis says, wrapping an arm loosely around Jensen's neck. "We're there."

Danneel gives her nod of approval while watching Jensen carefully, and he knows she's thinking the same thing as him.

*

Jared has Katie wipe off most of the paint on his body, enough so he doesn't have to worry about turning the inside of his shirt blue and green, and then he goes to change. He comes back in torn jeans and a white v-neck, and Jensen has to ask himself why it took him so long to see this for what it is. He doesn't have long before they load up into Aldis's car.

"So where does your boy live?" Aldis asks after he starts the car.

"Just follow that bald dude getting into the Toyota," Jared answers, leaning between the two seats to point the guy out. Jensen tries to ignore the fact that Jared doesn't tell Aldis that Tom isn't his boy.

Jared sits back down and buckles up, flashing Jensen a brief smile that Jensen finds too easy to return, before he turns his head to look out the window. Aldis turns the volume up, some shitty country song that he believes to be his personal anthem or something. It's loud enough that Jensen feels comfortable talking to Jared without thinking that Danneel and Aldis will hear.

"Hey," he starts, and that gets Jared's attention.

Jared turns his whole body, and it's like a kick in the chest, how hopeful Jared looks. Jensen kind of feels like a grade A douche for being the reason Jared has to be hopeful in the first place.

"About yesterday, I. I was being stupid. You had the right to be pissed at me."

"I wasn't pissed," Jared says, streetlights flickering over his face as Aldis drives. "Just, you could've told me what was bothering you, y'know?"

Jensen nods. "Yeah. And, uh I will. Later, though." He blows out a breath. "It's just. It's not exactly a conversation I wanna have with these two in the front seat."

Jared nods once, looking pleased and happy; Jensen plays with his seatbelt to keep from doing something stupid, like leaning over and kissing Jared just to see the reaction. Jared reaches over and grips Jensen's leg, thumb swiping over the knee quickly. "Yeah, that's cool. I can wait."

*

The yard is packed by the time Aldis pulls in behind the Toyota, small groups of people filtering into the house, a couple people already whooping like they've been drinking for hours. Jensen likes parties fine, but he has a feeling this one is going to suck, at least for him. And when Jared undoes his seatbelt and flashes Jensen a cautious grin, Jensen's pretty sure _suck_ is not a strong enough word.

Somehow, he ends up wedged between the end of a couch and Jared, red Solo cup in his hand although he can really only focus on Jared. Aldis and Danneel have already disappeared into the throngs of people, but Jensen's having a difficult time missing them right now. Jared's arm is draped on the back of the couch, fingers touching Jensen's shoulder faintly. Jared is grinning, then laughing, talking to a couple of people he knows from the play. They say a couple things to Jensen and he nods, tries to answer, but it's hard--in every sense of the word. Jared's like a furnace, hot against his side and burning most of his brain cells.

The guys leave after another couple of exchanges, and then Jared's glancing at Jensen, smiling around the rim of his cup. He takes a short sip and then rests his head on Jensen's shoulder, sighing.

"Shit, I'm beat."

"You just spent like, two hours on stage," Jensen says, trying to keep his voice even. "Of course you're beat."

"Yeah," Jared says, breathing a short laugh against Jensen's neck. "Was fun, though."

Jensen doesn't bother replying to that, because Jared's leaning against him more now, and it's stupid; they've practically napped on each other more than once, but this time is too different. And that's when Jensen figures it's now or never. Because Jared might be able to wait, but right now? Jensen's positive that _he_ isn't going to be able to.

"Uh, so," he starts, squirming in his seat slightly. He chews on his lip, takes in Jared's face--a mix of exhaustion and contentment--and says, "Uh. Can we-- I don't know. Can we go somewhere that's... quieter?"

"Why, you planning on taking advantage of me, Jen?"

"Shut up." Jensen nudges at Jared's head with his shoulder. "No, I just. I wanted to talk to you about something."

"Oh," Jared says, sobering a little. He gets off of Jensen and pushes his hair back. "I, yeah. Sure. C'mon."

There's really no place to go that's not crowded, so Jensen leads Jared out the door onto the balcony that overlooks the front yard. There's two people in the corner making out, but they're so lost in the rocking of hips Jensen's pretty sure they didn't even notice Jared and him step outside.

"So," Jared starts, fingers sliding along the railing. He glances at Jensen. "What's up?"

Jensen blows out a frustrated breath, because it's stupid. This whole thing is stupid; Jensen's stupid, because he shouldn't be getting so-- _stupid_ over a guy, and Jared's even goddamn stupider, just because.

He pauses, looks up at Jared and fakes a grin. "You were really good tonight," he says, because he's a fucking idiot.

Jared nods and smiles back. "Yeah, you told me. Gave me a rose and everything, remember?" His smile is dangerously close to switching gears into a smirk, and Jensen's grin tightens on his face.

"Yeah, right. Uh, okay."

"Jensen, come on," Jared urges. "Why're you so... distant? Did I like, do something?"

"No," Jensen says immediately, even if it's slightly untrue. Jared's been doing a lot of things, honestly. Like the thing he's doing right now, biting on the corner of his lip as he leans against the edge of the balcony. "It's just, I'm just--"

And this is where Jensen freezes. He mentally berates himself, because Christ, this is _Jared_. It's not like Jensen's confessing shit to some moron he just met or anything--he's pretty sure Jared's not going to spit on him or something. He looks out into Tom's yard, at all the vehicles parked everywhere. Thinks, Tom's mom is going to fucking kill him. Says it, too, and Jensen doesn't have to look at Jared to know he's shaking his head.

"Jen," Jared says after a moment, fingers curling around Jensen's wrist. Now, Jensen does look up, and he swallows at what he finds. Jared's smiling down at him, something different, something Jensen's not sure he can place. Then Jared's leaning in, and there's no doubt that Jensen's about to get kissed. It still shocks him somehow, though, when Jared's lips press against his, and it takes a full five seconds before he gets it together enough that he can kiss back.

Jensen grips the back of Jared's shirt finally, pulling on the fabric and rising on his toes to get a better angle. Jared's lips are dry and warm against his own, hand keeping Jensen's wrist locked tight as he grips Jensen's side with his other one.

It stays dry; short, solid presses of lips that ease off and pick back up. Jensen's had a lot of time to think about kissing Jared over the past couple of days and this isn't how he thought it would go, didn't think it would be so chaste. It's good, though, and it's kind of better than he could've imagined--Jared's body pressed against his, the echo of the music coming from inside the house, Jared leading the kiss into more.

They part when breathing gets a little difficult, breathing in each other's air, but Jensen's eyes keep focus on Jared's lips, and they're spreading into a smile.

"I, uh," Jensen's saying, now that his brain is starting to get up to speed. He runs his knuckle down the middle of his lip. "How'd you--?"

Jared's smile softens and he looks down, his hand reaching back to rub his neck. "Uh, well, honestly? I figured I had a fifty-fifty shot of you kissing me back, or punching me in the face."

Jensen huffs a breath. "So, you just, what, guessed?"

Jared shrugs, smirking a little. "Guess I just got lucky. 'Sides, you weren't telling me anytime soon."

"I was getting to it!" Jensen snaps, although it kind of dies a miserable death and comes out more like a weak protest, because Jared's fingers are squeezing his waist.

"Right," says Jared. "So, is this why you've been acting... off?"

"Uh," Jensen says, then shrugs irritably at Jared's raised eyebrow. "Shut up! Normal people freak out when they realize their best friend is hot."

Jared chuckles then, leaning in closer. "You think I'm hot?"

Jensen sigh. "Ugh. How the hell did I ever manage to fall for--"

Thankfully, Jared's mouth cut him off before he can say anything else that's gonna get him laughed at later.

*

"Come on, dude." Jared nudges at Jensen with his knee. "You've gotta open it."

Jensen sighs. He's been running his fingers along the envelope for the past five minutes, and Jared's getting restless, telling him every thirty seconds that he needs to open it. Like Jensen doesn't already _know_ that. And he hasn't had a problem opening the others so far, didn't even care when a couple rejected him. It's just, some dumb piece of paper is going to tell him if he's gonna be heading out to UCLA, or sucking it up and going to UT. Not getting in isn't exactly something he wants to think about, especially not now, with him and Jared.

"You're getting in, Jensen. But you're not gonna find out if you don't look," Jared says, wrapping his arm loosely around Jensen's shoulder.

"Yeah, Jared, thanks," Jensen says. He glances up at his parents, standing at the archway between the living room and kitchen, neither saying anything but looking anxious.

Jensen bites his lip and presses his finger under the corner of the flap. He pulls it a little, then shakes his head. "I can't do this." He drops it in Jared's lap. "You do it."

Jared looks amused when he picks it up, like there's no doubt in his mind that he's getting in. Though, until Jensen actually got the letter, there were no doubts in his mind either. It seems like it takes forever for Jared to tear along the top and pull the papers out from it.

"'Dear Jensen Ackles,'" he reads, voice going high as he says it. He stops, eyes traveling over the letter, and his face falls. "Uh. Shit."

Jensen squeezes his eyes shut. "I didn't get in."

"No, you did," Jared says, and when Jensen opens his eyes, Jared's smirking. "I was actually shitting about the fact I won't be getting away from you."

Jensen gapes for a short moment before shoving Jared and grabbing the letter. He reads it, scanning over the _we're pleased to inform you_ written right there in ink.

"I got in," he says, slowly. His parents take that as their cue to start talking excitedly and taking turns to read over the letter. Jensen settles for grinning pretty stupidly while Jared shouts, "We're goin' to California, baby!"


End file.
